If You're Gonna Say Goodbye
by scarlet700
Summary: "You speak of reality and illusions, well Itachi this is my reality. I am all alone once again, dead on the inside because of you and I will never be able to love anyone else again." I whispered softly, staring at the man that I loved.


**_Author's note: Hello my faithful readers. I realize that I should be updating my multi-chapter, but it seems that I am experiencing a mental block towards it and I am hoping to break it with this one-shot._**

_DON'T SKIP THIS_**_ to get the full impact of this story, I suggest that you find a song called 'Say Goodbye' by Skillet, which was the inspiration for this one-shot._**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto_**

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**_If You're Gonna Say Goodbye_**

_Cherry-blossom meet me at the lake farthest into our forest._

I smiled down at the small scrunched up paper in my hand; it even smelled like him. Of course he didn't write his name in case the letter got intercepted just as all the other letters that came before this one, though the fact that he asked me to meet him somewhere was slightly worrisome.

We didn't have a normal relationship as it was impossible, not to mention that he liked taking this slow, proving to me once again that he was a true gentleman. Lady Tsunade was well aware of our relationship, but she never intervened, stating that I should be careful with the fire I was playing with.

I would see him for a few minutes when he appeared in the village, mostly at night, and we would spend that time sitting in each others' arms at the very lake he specified and talk about our daily lives, our dreams and pasts, and our feelings. It was the most romantic thing I could have asked for. There were no candles, no small picnics or flowers; we were just with each other and that was all we needed, but the thing that really struck home was the beautiful letters he sent me when we were apart.

He had the most beautiful handwriting I had ever set eyes on with added curves to the letters where it was not needed, making it seem like he was stuck between print and calligraphy.

I still remembered when I inquired whether he did it to impress me. His replied returned to me in what he referred to as proper calligraphy. It had been such a surprise that the deadly hands of one of the most powerful ninja in the world could create such gentle strokes of a pen, turning mere ink letters into graceful dancers spreading across the page in one of the most heartfelt poems I have ever read, the pain he carried with him just underlining the passion he felt.

I was well aware of his tragic past and the mental and emotional damage he had to endure alone when he had been ordered to murder his entire clan and leave not only his home, but his little brother whom he held most dear to him. I knew the reason why he had joined the Akatsuki and his plan to die at the hands of his brother.

It tore my heart apart when he stated his plan to me, which I did not agree with at all, but I still supported him through my heart break. He had given me the choice to back out of the relationship as he had no desire to cause me pain. I had pondered about my answer for two days, listing the pros and cons, wondering whether I wanted to go through another heartache and the answer had come to me as I was re-reading his letter. The shock from the devastating news had blocked me from the truth written within his words.

He needed to know that I still felt something for him and needed to know that I would still be by his side after everyone had already forsaken him, but even though his need was so great, he still gave me the choice to continue or not, silently stating that he would quietly accept the pain if I decided not to reply as he had accepted the torment and suffering from all those years ago. He was giving me the power to hurt him once more or to continue supporting him.

I had then replied stating that he was crazy if he thought I would leave him for something so trivial; he knew that I was accepting the pain that would be given to me through his death and we never spoke of it again.

Quickly wiping away the warm tears running down my cheeks, I looked up, my gaze instantly falling on the man that I loved, who was standing with his back toward me. He was not wearing his Akatsuki cloak, standing before the shimmering water in his short-sleeved shirt, usual grey jonin pants and ninja shoes. It was as if he belonged there between the serene nature; he was beautiful enough to fit in a painting.

Closing the space between us with a few steps, I placed my hand on his back, stopping beside him, but he never acknowledged my presence, keeping his gaze toward the peaceful water, silent tears strolling down his perfect pale skin. He never bothered to wipe them away, mimicking the previous times I had seen him cry, but there was something different about these tears, something that made my heart clench with excruciating pain and sorrow.

"Itachi?" I questioned worriedly, my voice coming out as a whisper, lacking its usual confidence, but I was only met with a frightening silence. Slowly he shifted under my touch, avoiding eye contact as he wrapped his arms around my small form, enveloping me in his loving warmth. I swallowed hard, realizing what this meeting meant; our final meeting. He was here to say goodbye, but I didn't want to hear those words; I couldn't accept them.

I could feel his tears falling on the crown of my head, only serving to rip my heart farther apart. Not being able to hold back my tears any longer, I trembled in his arms, wanting to find comfort in his presence, being met with a chilly breeze as he pulled away from the embrace, lifting his head to reveal his tear swollen eyes. With a small sigh he said, "Sakura, I… we have to… I suppose this is-"

"Don't say goodbye, because I don't want to hear those words tonight." I interrupted, grabbing a hold on both his forearms.

"Sakura, I need to say this. Why do you not wish for me to continue?" He questioned softly, almost brokenly, taking a hold of my hands, allowing them to hand between our bodies. Shaking my head almost childishly with tears pouring forth from my eyes, my bottom lip quivered at the unusual distance between us. I knew that this separation would be the death of me; if not physically then my soul would die along with his. Looking up into his onyx eyes through my lashes, I said, "Because maybe it's not the end for you and I, emotionally at least. You and I will always be together and although we knew this time would come for me and you, don't say anything tonight if you're going to goodbye."

"I wish I had told you this in another life where perhaps we could have lived happily together. I love you, Sakura and I will continue to do so for eternity." My raven stated tenderly, cupping my cheek with his hand, connecting our lips in a sweet, loving kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist as I mimicked his movements around his neck. My senses flared out and I became aware of everything surrounding us and I came to the realization that if this was the last time I would see him, then this moment would last forever. Pulling away from the breath taking kiss, I said, "Show me how much you love me."

"Do you realize what it is that you're asking me?" Itachi questioned lowly, lustful eyes searching my facial features.

"Itachi, make love to me." I whispered in his ear, standing on the tip of my toes, my hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Moaning softly, he pulled me tightly against his body and kissed me passionately, backing me against a tree.

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"Sakura, as you know, we were able to bring Itachi's body back and we have buried him at the place you specified. What would you like engraved on his headstone?" Lady Tsunade asked soberly, looking at me with love and sympathy. Smiling weakly at my master and dear friend, I pulled out a small paper, placing it on the desk, trying to ignore the pain that filled my chest and hold back the tears that threatened to overflow.

With sad eyes I watched as small hands with red painted nails take hold of _his_ small note that had been left on my windowsill. With one firm nod from the blonde Hokage, Genma left the room with the scented scrunched paper.

Gulping, I bit down hard on my bottom lip, knowing that once those words were engraved then I would no longer be able to deny the reality of this situation. Itachi was dead and he was never coming back. I would never be able to feel his loving warmth, smell his comforting scent, or hear his smoother then velvet voice ever again. He had left me alone and I had died on the inside just as I had predicted.

I numbly watched Lady Tsunade's lips move as she spoke fake words of comfort, but I was unable to hear any sounds that left her perfect lips as the entire world drowned out from my senses. _He _was what fuelled my Will of Fire, _he_ had been there for me when I was at my worst, and, yet, it was _he_ that had been able to cause me the most unbearable pain I have ever experienced.

I nodded once as Lady Tsunade finished with her speech and forced a smile to appear on my lips, but she seemed to see through my façade. Spinning on my heel, I left the office, making my way to our forest to finally visit my lover.

I would never able to replace such a peaceful and loving soul as his. Itachi had never wanted to be the cause of any violence; he had wanted to spend a long and happy life with his family, but fate had decided otherwise, sending him into his own personal hell. I was utterly shocked when the truth had been revealed to me. I didn't understand how someone could be so selfish until now; I would have given up on all my friends or on the world, allowing it to destroy itself, if it meant that I would have been able to be with the one I loved.

Looking up at the beautiful headstone, the pain in my chest increased, my heart feeling as if it weighed a ton, calling to the one I loved, but I knew that he would never be able to return my call. Collapsing down onto my knees, I allowed my fingers to graze over the simple words that I had chosen to be engraved on his headstone. He had used it many times when explaining things to me and I saw it fit that those words would be able to explain his untimely death.

_One's reality might be another's illusion._

Swallowing hard, my breathing becoming laboured, I let out a small cry of pain as I clutched my heart. Letting the tears stream down my cheeks, I placed my hands in my lap and just stared at the name that I would never hear again. Letting out the breath I hadn't known I had been holding, I said, "I had been hoping that our night of passion would have given birth to a child, my love, but it was not so. You used to speak of reality and illusions, but this is my reality, Itachi. I am all alone once again, dead on the inside because of you and I will never be able to love anyone else again."

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**_Author's note: Yes, I know it was a very depressing ending, but hey… now I got an idea for my multi-chapter story. So YAY!_**


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